Daisy and Dusty

"What do you do with them?"

This is the question often asked of my precious, no, make that precocious mini-donkeys, Daisy and Dusty.

"Well…", I pondered these inquiries carefully, giving great thought to my answer.

"We watch them…..
and, oh yes, we feed them, we allow them to eat everything edible. They have a special affinity for newly planted Vanderwolf pines and ice plant. And bark, I forgot about bark.

"Is that all?" they will ask.

"Oh, no! Definitely not. We also feed them bales and bales of grass hay, and clean up their copious amounts of poop. And we make feeble attempts at discouraging them from charging and kicking the dogs. And of course, how could I forget the "playful" nipping at our hands in hopes of finding a treat." In their defense, they do get along swimmingly with the cats and chickens.

All things considered, they are definitely not carrying their weight.

My original plan was to train one or both of them to pull a cart. As a child, I had a Shetland pony which my father trained to a cart. My fondest memories are of pretending it was a stagecoach, I was the driver and my strongbox full of gold was a six pack of soda pop bottles. Somehow I enlisted some neighbor children to act as robbers or wild Indians, depending upon my mood, and I would tear through the trees at breakneck speed avoiding the scoundrels.

My mother, who remembered those days of yore, insisted that "I" could train them to a cart. We bought the cart and harness. Our first mistake. Our second mistake was talking to various donkey owners who assured me that it was extremely easy to train one to a cart.

"I did it in a day!"
"They are naturals!"
"You will have no problems, no problems at all!"

Our third mistake was believing them. (Not to mention believing my mother)

After a somewhat disastrous attempt at trying to do it myself, I decided to go the professional route. I placed an ad on Craig's List and waited for a plethora of responses. After several weeks I got an email from someone who suggested a woman south of Albuquerque.

After we had conversed on the phone she sent an email telling me I would need to have their wolf teeth pulled. (wolf teeth pulled??)

I wrote her back and told her this latest development may change things considerably. I couldn’t imagine administering to donkeys who had had teeth pulled. Would I have to pack the teeth? Monitor what they ate and drank? Re-bandage? I harkened back to the days when I had my wisdom teeth pulled. Do donkeys get dry socket?

She assured me that it was no big deal. Most all equines have wolf teeth. Apparently the bridle bit fits right where the wolf teeth are placed.

I reluctantly called a vet for an initial consultation. She examined their teeth, and reported that yes, indeed, they did have wolf teeth and after assuring me that there was no aftercare required, she could remove them right then. Gulp.

"Will it hurt them?, I queried.
"They won't even know what's going on with this sedative."

Was that ever an understatement. Those poor donkeys were struggling to remain standing. Weaving and wobbling.

"Look!", the vet exclaimed, "They've got five legs." She was referring to the fact that they were using their nose on the ground to balance. I had never seen them so docile.

Time for me to exit. I escaped to my porch to watch the show. Before long, she called to me saying, 

"Okay, the teeth are out."

 I returned to the scene of the crime. Amazingly, they looked no worse for the wear.

"These are the best mini-donkeys I have ever seen! They've changed my entire concept of donkeys,  the vet said.

I refrained from telling her about the charging and kicking of the dogs, the biting the hands that feeds them, the overall orneriness, the rodeo that insues when they have their hooves trimmed, as well as chasing them all over the property with a syringe stuck in their butt after our first attempt at vaccination.

"And, by the way, could I keep one of Dusty's wolf teeth? It was by far the largest one I've ever seen, even on a full grown horse", the vet asked.

Hmmm, I had to think about that one. I so wanted to keep those teeth. I really had intended to make a necklace of them. I decided to forget about the necklace. There was a more pressing need at hand.

"How about a trade? You keep the tooth and give me a syringe of that sedative?"